Princess

I’ve Come to Marry the Princess Skit

This is LC’s favorite skit. I hope you’ve seen it. If not, I’ll describe it below. I’ll try to do it justice.

One of the great things about this skit is that the characters can be changed around a little to make it more fun. I’ve seen a very funny Star Wars version. And I remember one with the Kool Aid man in it from a while back. I can’t remember exactly how he fit in, but I remember he kept saying “Oh Yeah…”.

Most of the time, I’ve seen this done with just two people. They just keep moving down the line, switching characters. I have seen larger groups do it also though, with each person just playing one of the characters, but it is really funny with just two.

I’ve Come to Marry the Princess Skit

A prop or piece of costume for each character helps to distinguish them. Also, it might be helpful to have a line of chairs or milk crates to designate a “place” for each separate character.

Scout 1 knocks on a “door”. Scout 2 opens it.
Scout 1 (in the part of the suitor): “I’ve come to marry the princess.”
Scout 2 (in the part of the doorman): “The princess?”
Scout 1: “Yes, the princess.”
Scout 2. “Wait here. I’ll ask the king.”

Scout 1 now runs around to the other side of  Scout 2 to play the part of the king.
Scout 2: “King, there is a man here who wants to marry the princess.”
Scout 1 (as the King) : “The princess?”
Scout 2: “Yes the princess.”
Scout 1: “I’ll have to ask the queen”.

Scout 2 now goes around to the other side of Scout 1 to play the part of the Queen.
Scout 1: “Queen, there is a man here who wants to marry the princess.”
Scout 2 (as the Queen in his most hammed up older lady voice): “The princess?”
Scout 1: “Yes, the princess.”
Scout 2: “I’ll have to ask the princess.”

Scout 1 now runs to the other side of Scout 2 to play the part of the Princess.
Scout 2: “Princess, there is a man here who wants to marry you.”
Scout 1 (as the Princess in a very hammed up young lady voice): “The answer is no!”

Scout 1 now runs back to the King’s place.
Scout 2 (turning to the King) : “The answer is no!”

Scout 2 now runs back to the doorman’s place
Scout 1 (turning to the doorman): “The answer is no!”

Scout 1 now goes back to the suitor’s place.
Scout 2 (turning to the suitor) : “The answer is no!”

Scout 1 (as the suitor): “Then die!”
Scout 1 (the suitor) kills Scout 2 (the doorman).

Now it starts all over. This time Scout 2 answers the door as the king. The message and the answer go back up and down the row, and in the end, the suitor kills the king.

Start over again, with Scout 2 answering the door as the queen. The message and answer go back up and down the row, and the suitor kills the queen.

Finally, Scout 1 knocks at the door as the suitor and Scout 2 answers as the princess.
Scout 1: “Princess, I’ve come to marry you!”
Scout 2: “Are you rich?”
Scout 1: “Yes!”
Scout 2: “OK!” and they walk off together hand in hand.

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2 Responses to I’ve Come to Marry the Princess Skit

  1. Steve B April 17, 2011 at 8:13 AM #

    This is one of my favorite skits. My troop has does this many times for campfire programs.
    A video of one of these performances can be seen at Melrose Scout Productions Podcast (Episode #90).
    http://feeds2.feedburner.com/melrosescoutingproductions

  2. Clayton January 10, 2014 at 11:21 PM #

    This is my all-time favorite camp skit. Only I learned it with a bit of variation.

    First, the suitor says “knock, knock, knock” in the most rapid and annoying voice while he’s “knocking the door”.

    As each character dies, the next in line calls for all those that have gone before. For instance, after the doorman and king have died:

    Suitor: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!
    Queen: Oh, DOOOOORMAN?
    Suitor: KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!
    Queen: Oh, KIIIIIIIING?
    Suitor: KNOCK, KNOCK KNOCK!
    Queen: Oh well, guess I’ll have to get it myself.

    Also, as they relay the princess’s response they banter as well:
    Player 1: The answer is, no.
    Player 2: No?
    P1: Yes!
    P2: Yes?
    P1: No, you fool! The answer is NO!
    P2: Then I will tell the (next in line) no. (Or “then you must die” if it’s the suitor)

    The ending is also different. Although I like “Are you rich?” The variety I grew up enjoying typically ended with the suitor killing the princess, and then the players do some kind of interlude (might be as simple as “Now let’s do it in SUPER BEAVER SPEED!”). They run the entire skit again in super speed and when it gets to the end (if it’s done right, the audience is in stitches by this point) the princess screams YES!!!, jumps into the suitor’s arms and gets carried off into the metaphorical sunset.

    All in all, the comedy lies within how much the two players get into it. The most entertaining renditions typically include two seasoned skit actors who really, really ham it up the whole time.

    Thanks for helping relive some of my finest scouting memories!

    -Clayton
    Eagle from Troop 157 (TN)

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